


The Risk of Opening Up One's Heart

by RatMonarch



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anxiety, Caring, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Trust, Trust Issues, Worry, can be read as shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-04 23:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18354290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatMonarch/pseuds/RatMonarch
Summary: Yut-Lung hates to admit it, but he has grown to care about Sing and his well-being, and it's taking some time for him to get used to.





	The Risk of Opening Up One's Heart

Yut-Lung had tried really hard to prevent this from happening. Over the years, he’d erected walls made of solid steel around his heart, and yet it still happened. He found himself caring for another human being. 

He was disgusted with himself, really. 

He’d tried hard to deny this fact. Tried to push the feelings deep down inside himself and act like they weren’t there, but eventually there came a point where even he couldn’t deny it to himself anymore. 

Yes, he, Yut-Lung Lee, had grown to care for Sing Soo-Ling. 

Ugh. He was so glad Blanca was overseas somewhere. If that oaf was here to witness how far Yut-Lung had fallen, he had had no doubt the man would be smiling like the goddamn idiot he was. The thought was enough to make Yut-Lung’s stomach curl with disgust. 

To be perfectly frank as well, he saw exactly why he never allowed himself to get close to others after his mother died. Because doing so caused him way too much stress and hassle! Why did people like being attached to people? All it did was make him want to yank his own hair out. 

Granted, he supposed he could’ve helped himself avoid such anxiety if he had decided to care for someone who wasn’t as reckless as Sing.

He expertly wrapped gauze around the large cut Sing had in his arm, thankful he knew at least a bit of medical knowledge. Voice laced with anger, he scolded, “Would you like to tell me what in the hell you were thinking, you goddamn idiot? Why the hell would you charge in like some sort of drunken bull when you knew they had weapons on them?”

Sing, clearly not enjoying being lectured, huffed, “It’s something called the element of surprise, _Mom_. Besides - OW!”

Sing’s comment was cut off with a yelp when Yut-Lung had decided to jab a cotton ball, soaked with an excessive amount of rubbing alcohol, on a small cut on his cheek. 

“You deserved that,” Yut-Lung sniffed, meeting Sing’s glare with a glare of his own. Sing’s own men might cower at the sight of Sing throwing them a dirty look, but Yut-Lung was not so easily intimidated. 

Sing turned away, carding a hand through his hair, muttering, “God, you are such an asshole sometimes.”

“Sorry for not wanting to see you dead,” Yut-Lung snapped. He didn’t fully realize what he had said until Sing turned and looked at him in surprise. He may care about Sing, but that didn’t mean Yut-Lung made that kind of information public for everyone to know.

Then, before Yut-Lung could try to change the subject, the idiot got a big shit-eating grin on his face as he crooned, “Aww, Yut-Lung. I didn’t know you cared so much for little old me~!”

It was juvenile teasing at best, but Yut-Lung still found his face heating up. Turning his head to hopefully hide the red that was no doubt blossoming there, he grabbed a decorative pillow sitting on one of the nearby chairs and chucked it at the other boy’s face, snapping, “Shut up, you little rat! I just don’t want to have to deal with whoever gets the leadership position once they finish scraping your guts off the floor.”

Infuriatingly, Sing managed to dodge the pillow and made an unconvinced noise, saying, “Mhm, sure, that is exactly what you meant. Not that you actually care about another human.”

Despite knowing that denying it further would get him nowhere, Yut-Lung considered protesting, but Sing had caught him off-guard by saying, “Hey though, it’s okay. I care about you too, you know.”

Now Sing was the one blushing slightly and looking away, a hand reaching back to rub the back of his neck, a nervous tic. And despite how simple that phrase was, Yut-Lung found himself surprised and touched despite himself. Goddamn, when did he become such a sap? He was going to kill Blanca if he ever saw him again, for putting such stupid thoughts and ideas in his head. For influencing him like this. 

Figuring he had already embarrassed himself enough as it was, Yut-Lung swallowed and said, “I just don’t want anyone else in my life leaving or dying…”

Oh god… he couldn’t believe he actually said that out loud. He wished he could at least have an excuse and say he was drunk, but he hadn’t taken a sip of wine this night. He was sober and pathetic and making himself totally vulnerable. He would not blame Sing for making fun of him right now. People who opened themselves up like it deserved it. 

But Sing just blinked at him in shock and said, “Hey, asshole. You know I am not exactly eager to die, right? I would like to live for as long as possible, quite frankly.” Then, he paused for a moment as Yut-Lung remained silent. He let out a sigh, and walked over to Yut-Lung, placing a hand on his shoulder, saying, “Listen, stop worrying about me like I am made of glass. The streets have been safer lately ever since Dino died. There is less tension. Relations are better. And I have survived a lot worse.”

Yut-Lung nodded. He knew all of this. He really did. But stuff happened. Unexpected enemies and old grudges could rise from the ground and strike out of nowhere. Even some of the most famous mobsters and gangsters got killed by rather simple means. Who was to say Sing wouldn’t end up with the same fate? Look what happened to Ash, or his half-brother or hell, even Shorter. 

But he knew even if he said all of this, Sing wouldn’t listen. He was too passionate about his group to stop now. He would sooner die than abandon his men now. Nothing Yut-Lung could say would convince him otherwise. All he could do was accept that this was the life Sing chose and could only hope Sing was smart enough to know how to keep himself alive. So, voice filled with defeat and exhaustion, he relented and said, “I know, Sing.”

Sing then gave him a big smile and clapped him on the shoulder, causing Yut-Lung to tense at the sudden rough treatment. While Yut-Lung didn’t consider himself a delicate flower by any means, he certainly would never be used to the casual rough-housing that Sing and his gang liked to use with one another. Looking at him, Sing said, “The gang wants to go out and eat out in celebration. You want me to bring you back something?”

Yut-Lung nodded and smiled back, if only a little, saying, “That sounds good. Text me where you decide to go and I will tell you if I want anything.”

Sing nodded and waved him away, thanking him for patching him up. Yut-Lung watched him go, before looking down at the ground and muttering, “Don’t you dare make me regret this, Sing.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I am not going to lie, this was really, really fun to write. 
> 
> I finished Banana Fish about a week ago, and ow that ending. My heart hurts, so thanks for that but I liked the show overall... and yes, I really grew to like Yut-Lung. He is a little snake bitch, but he is a lovable one and I really liked his parallels with Ash and his complicated relationship with Sing. I originally wanted to tackle the obligatory Ash/Eiji fic first, but somehow this ended up coming out of my pencil instead, so I hope you enjoy. Yut-Lung was surprisingly fun to write for, even if I made him a bit more melodramatic then he should be. Who knows? Maybe I will write more in the future. 
> 
> As always, critique is appreciated. 
> 
> Have an amazing day!


End file.
